The One

So this past weekend, my parents just came back from a Marriage retreat with their church and they said... it blessed them in more ways than they imagined.  Grant it, it was their fourth one but they both agreed and said it was the best one by far.  Not only did they go and meet new couples but they got to fellowship and go with couples whom they've known for almost 10 years now.  The fact they were surrounded by other brothers and sisters in Christ as well as those whom they consider to be some of their best friends enhanced their experience that much more.  They shared with me some of the exercises they did and what they learned about each other and I have to say, it really touched me.  They then told me they watched a movie named "Fireproof" to prove a point in how marriage can be and even, how some marriages are.  They asked if I've seen it and I said no so they borrowed it from a friend and we watched.  Now, though the acting wasn't necessarily always on point, when you look at the plot, storyline and the message, I can honestly say I really enjoyed it and it really moved me. I think what really did it for me is knowing that the film, is not far off from real life situations.  For those who don't know, it is about a couple who is on the verge of getting a divorce and is literally on their last limb of maintaining any HOPE to even want to stay together.

Before we even started the movie, my parents told me a story of a couple they met at the retreat.  A couple whom wasn't a member of the church but were looking to go to a Marriage Retreat and pulled up my parents church online.  They signed up and went.  Needless to say, as my mom put it, these guys are just like that couple in the movie I just saw.  It really moved both my parents and broke my moms heart to come across a couple who is at that point in their life to where they feel they need a divorce.

After the movie was over, my parents began to open up with me on some things they discussed about over the weekend.  Some things that may have been a concern to them but they discussed it like grown adults.  In one of the work shops they did, there was a section for discussion, solution and then a section where they feel they can't tell each other anything.  I am very proud and happy to say that in that last section, both of them said... "There was nothing in that section because there is NOTHING we can't tell each other".  I thought to myself... "Wooooww... how Beautiful is it to spend the rest of your life with someone that you can be completely open with?"

Ephesians 5:25 & 28

25: For Husbands, this means LOVE your wives, just as CHRIST LOVED the Church. 

28:  In the same way, husbands ought to LOVE their wives as they LOVE their own bodies.  For a man who LOVES his wife actually shows LOVE for himself.  

Though it is true that a woman is to submit to her husband, it is just as much that a man should submit to his wife and not abuse the responsibility of being head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church.  

Ephesians 5:21

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

LOVE is a selfless act in which the motive is... "What can I do for you?" So when it says... "Husbands ought to LOVE your wives, just as CHRIST LOVED the Church" V.S. 25-30  is a commandment for husbands to be willing to sacrifice everything for her, make her well being of primary importance, and care for her as he cares for his own body.  For NO wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her this way.  

1 Peter 3:7

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat your wife with understanding as you live together.  She may be weaker than you are, but she is your EQUAL partner in GOD's gift of new life.  Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

I look at my parents and I am so blessed to have an example of what a proper marriage is in the Kingdom of GOD.  Though I have had a Fantastic example, let me remind you that they both came from divorce homes.  And not just their parents but our Uncles, Aunts etc.  So believe me when I say... we come from a household of divorced families but PRAISE GOD my parents made a conscious decision to draw that line in the sand and break a Generational Curse.  That irrelevant to whatever example they did NOT have, they were committed to each other to set an example for me and my sister.  And I say that in spite of the fear I may have for when I get married, I now have a standard of when I get married.  My marriage at a minimum will be just as great as my parents.  I humbly say that my goal is for my marriage to be better than my parents and my kids to be better than my own.  For I know I'd be doing my parents a disservice if I settled for anything less.  Each generation should progress.  And I only plan for my kids to have a better married life than the one I will have with my future potential spouse.  

When my best friends James and Anneline got married, Pastor Ruel made a statement that forever stuck in my head and it was this... "Though your LOVE for each other is great, it WILL NOT be enough. You must rely on the strength of the LORD and his LOVE and wisdom will continuously guide you.  Keep him the center of your relationship".  I guess I write this to say that there isn't one day that goes by where I don't think of the day I get married.  That as every day goes by, I look forward to the day where I can be with that special someone but can I be honest?  I know there is no such thing as a perfect marriage but I am scarred to be a husband.  Not because of what my future wife may do but, me having a fear in which my wife may not feel appreciated due to what I'm doing or lack to do.  I want to be able to minimize the damage as much as possible.  Why be like Jonah and end up in a Big Fish because GOD told him to go right and he goes left?  For I've learned the hard way that disobedience not only can prolong your own blessing but it can unnecessarily impact others lives for the worse.  But then I think of this verse and believe me when I say at this very moment, I'm still working on trying to engrave this scripture in my heart.  

2 Timothy 1:7

For GOD has not given us a spirt of fear and timidity, but of power, LOVE, and self-discipline.

So in the mean time, I will continue to maximize my life as a single so I will be mentally, emotionally and spiritually fit for THE ONE that the good LORD will have in store for me.

GOD is LOVE