The past couple weeks have been rough. I've been battling against myself for quite some time in my own mind. Believe it or not, for the 1st time in my life, thoughts of: Thinking less of myself, thinking I'm not capable of doing something, not knowing GOD's plan and because I don't know it I then doubt myself. Yes... All of these thoughts amongst so many more have occurred to me sadly multiple times the past month (especially the past few days). So as you continue to read, I ask that you be patient with where I'm going with this. I AM a work in progress
Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let GOD transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know GOD's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Like a tree, Amazing how empty, dry, and unfulfilled we can feel when we try to do things on our own (a "thing of this world"). Difficult to grow seeds of LOVE, Joy, Kindness, Peace, etc when we don't allow the Holy Spirit to be a part of us.
Galatians 5:22
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: LOVE, Joy, Peace, PATIENCE, Kindness, Goodness, FAITHfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. There is NO law against these things!
I just recently finished my training in San Antonio, Texas at FT Sam Houston learning about my Job Occupation being a Medical Planner in the ARMY. My Current Duty Station is Alaska and I have to say, the short 3 months that I have been in has gotten me to think quite a bit. Recently, I've questioned my future (as far as, what specifically do I want to do with it) and for the 1st time in my life... I absolutely have no idea. And that? For me, bothered me. Because I ALWAYS was a person to have a plan in life and after speaking with my Dad, he reminded me that it's spiritual warfare. Because during my time of not knowing what I want to do with what's to come, I didn't even have a desire to ask GOD to guide me. I got so caught up and frustrated in feeling less than, I DID NOT want to go to Christ and ask for his wisdom and direction. The moment my Dad helped me identify this, he said "Mark... that's the enemy working on you. Clearly your doing something right because he's doing all he can to prevent you from GOD's blessing". The moment he said that, I began to shed a few tears realizing I turned my back on my Heavenly Father.
Colossians 1:11-12
We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the ENDURANCE and PATIENCE you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light.
We are more than capable of accomplishing and achieving anything in life but this scripture clearly tells us we CAN'T do it by ourselves. That we need the "Glorious POWER" in order to gain the ability of ENDURANCE and receive PATIENCE to accomplish all GOD has in store. That at times, we need to take a seat, Let Go and Let GOD. I had to get myself back to the basics and remind myself of not just "Who I am" (In Christ) but... "Who's I am". That I can be CONFIDENT in Jesus Christ's CONFIDENCE.
I just moved to Alaska a little over a week ago and GOD gave me the privilege of blessing me with one of my Best Friends to come with me. I was more than fortunate to have Ronnie with me because going to a new environment where none of your LOVED ones are there was scary for me. Not having those you've grown to LOVE around as well as not having your fellow Christian Community of believers truly broke me down to the point of tears many times. Within my 1st week in my new place of living, I spent my Birthday by myself on the same day as Easter and one of my really good friends passed away unexpectedly. At this point, I had multiple different emotions flowing through my head. Two days later beginning my in-processing on base, I meet my Unit and then discover I'm being deployed to Afghanistan less than a month for a year. I went back to my room not knowing what to do and how to tell those I LOVE I'm leaving once again. I was Angry, Bitter, Upset, Sad, Scared, Speechless and above all else... Overwhelmed.
Psalm 25:4
Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
The road to serve Jesus Christ is definitely not an easy one (and no one ever said it would be). However the key is that we have to want to be guided and realize that GOD's primary guidance system is in his Word. Though many times we are tempted (like myself this entire time) demand answers, instead we must ask for direction and be willing to seek GOD. Though ALL I've been enduring is a surprise to me, It's no surprise to him. We don't need to know what GOD is going to do and when he's going to do it. All we need to know is that he is with us, and that whatever it is he's going to do, HE WILL DO IT! He may not always show up on OUR time but he ALWAYS shows up ON Time. I don't have perfect FAITH but believe and know that I admit it and pray to GOD on the daily (sometimes more than once on the same day) for him to help me in it. As Joyce Meyer says "Jesus Christ didn't die on the cross so you can live insecure for the rest of your life". For in myself... I'm NO-Thing but in Christ... I'm EVERYTHING.
Romans 5:3-5
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And ENDURANCE develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this HOPE will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly GOD LOVES us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his LOVE.
GOD is LOVE
